Stories from the nest

Article 2 Preparing for meltdowns

I need a plan.

For me, one of the things I don’t cope well with is being unprepared. Not a resistance to being flexible and coping with change but more being in a situation where I have no resources, options or means of addressing or solving a problem.

I guess the sense of agency or power that breeds confidence and the voice that tells us “we’ve got this” needs some sort of plan to move us toward our solution or direction.

In my work with parents and children one of the conversations we often end up in is, “so what could you do in that moment of dysregulation?” (Either theirs or their child’s).

“I don’t know,” is usually the response and is quite reasonable and expected if you don’t have a plan or know of some options.

When it comes to managing emotions we really need a plan, because in the experience of the heightened emotion we lose the ability to access the part of our brain that delivers the rational, logical and measured response or information needed.

That’s where a “go to, ready and waiting” plan of strategies (e.g. deep breaths or moving away from the triggers), preselected calming items (e.g. sensory fidgets, smells or sounds) and a script of what to say to defuse the situation (e.g. I can see you are pretty angry right now and I am here to help you) can be a big help not just for restoring your calm state but that of the little one in your care.

- Kaylene

Article 1 Calming down our bodies

Do we ever get too old that we no longer need ways to soothe our minds and bodies? I don’t think so.

It is somehow very “normal” and acceptable to provide our little ones with various soothers, blankies and cuddly toys when they are infants. We are rightly teaching our little ones that using their senses of smell, hearing, touch, taste and sight will help them to calm feelings of overstimulation, anxiety and distress, especially those that interfere with sleep, car trips or separating from us.

So is it just determined that at a certain age we don’t need those strategies of calming our distress any more?

I recently went to a great training day with a paediatric OT who helped me to understand that my calming hot mug of tea, my passion for soft cuddly throw rugs was not that different to the thumb and blanket I was attached to at 3 years old.

Let’s realise our kid’s bodies (and ours) never stop seeking that soothing input, whatever form it takes. Let’s educate our little ones in some positive healthy ways to calm and soothe and set them up with an essential skill they will turn to for life.

- Kaylene

Kaylene has created a resource that assists children with their sensory needs.

Comfy’s Coat is a children’s picture book and accompanying sensory bear.

For more information visit www.comfyscoat.com